Thursday, September 30

Things are going to hell faster than cow shit attracts flies

Hypocricy surrounds me, insecurity engulfs me, and confusion consumes me.

My life seems to be spiraling down the shitter in a blur of piss, toilet paper, and tidy bowl.

One of my closest friends has tried for the past 2 months to alienate themselves from me, or maybe to alienate me from themself. I'm on the verge of giving in and moving on. I don't need this crap. Normally I woulnd't give a damn, and quite frankly, if it were anyone else I wouldn't. But at one time I knew taht together we were happy. Together we each trusted the other (something that was hard for both of us). They were, in essence, my best friend. Now, they're pushing me away with apathy and indifference. They're pushing me further and furhter from their social circle, hoping that I will step out or be pushed out. I think they will win, unless I can be assured otherwise.

With this change in social atmosphere, I find myself without friends. Sure, I have a few people at lunch that I debate the surreal in true geek fashion. Sure, I have a couple online acquantences (though these are fastly replacing any remains of my social life outside of my home). But I have noone with whom to share my thoughts with as of now.

Why the human is a social animal I don't know. We're not adapted very well for this purpose, we're full of greed, malice, and corruption, but for some reason we're not content with brewing in our own bile, but we must infect others. That being said, I still want someone to talk to, someone to hold, and someone to share my inner thoughts with. It perplexes me to think that humans who want to be loved and received make it extremely hard for others to do so.

Either way, I must yet again truncate another post because of this accursed bedtime.


Blogger Gil said...

Those who become mechanical do so to leave behind the pains of humanity. a feeling forgotten is a friend forsaken.

someone has forgotten how to feel.

September 30, 2004 at 9:52 PM  
Blogger Phil Latio said...

Damn, too bad you had to truncate that, you were on a roll there for a minute!

Did you catch the debate tonight? Personally, I thought Kerry mopped up the floor with Bush! Great job, it gives me hope!

September 30, 2004 at 9:59 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

Yeah. I call the lunch group the "humor crowd" and that can all get old sometimes. You should truly think about being a hermit and eating berries, living in a lean-to. To be a cynical cynic (cynical attitude towards cynics) is to be better off than to not be better off.

October 1, 2004 at 3:33 PM  
Blogger Ivan said...

In response to Phil:

Don't flood my blog with your political bullshit. I couldn't give a flying rat-fuck who you're voting for or why.

Grow up, educate yourself, and get a fucking life.

October 2, 2004 at 6:15 PM  

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